Since the time I lived on my own I have had numerous experiences shifting residences... Just about till the point where I was ...WAS... gonna declare myself an expert!... Only just.. If you deal with agents the number of times that I have had to, its gotta count as some sort of expertise for sure!
Following are some basic and handy thumb-rules you have to know before you deal with house agents:
- They are A******s...!
- They are trained to bluff (no 2 ways about it).
- They are on the look-out for idiots... complete and utter ones; and if you show hints otherwise - they will be downright rude, and the language eventually be something equal to a boxing mid-fight talk.
- They are after your money. The moment it goes off your hand, kiss it goodbye!
- Security deposits are weapons of threat! It is not just a measure of covering damages inflicted by the tenant on the house; but more importantly and especially ( if you are a sane tenant whose left the walls, equipments and fixtures of the house intact) its a motive for both landlord and agents to start using imagination in a WILD manner!
To counter the above, prepare yourself with the following:
- Give back what you get. (Has worked EVERY time for me!) - If the agent yells, yell in a manner that he would need hearing-aids next (or simply ask him to mind his/her tone) - if he threatens you, threaten back - sometimes if they are being unreasonable, just walk out beforehand ( if you still are to sign on the lease). And if fighting it out is not your scene, seek out alternate agents from the agency itself - and if they also do not help; just find other accommodation!
- Read the lease agreement with a magnifying glass! - Do NOT , not not not sign it until you know what you are getting into. Clarify all points and bug them numerous times even if they show signs and indications of extreme irritation. Else, the moment you default on anything - you surely shall be made to remember the sneers when they point out things from the lease they can screw you over for.
- Clarify ALL deductions that might possibly be done from the security deposit. ALL!
- Know your alternative solutions (in case of extreme necessity) - police cases, legal issues for example.
- Discount everything an agent says by 60%.
- Check on the plumbings, fittings, cooking gaskets, the heater, water supply, security and check whether the door/windows, grills etc work smoothly without getting stuck.
- Know dead-lines for payments and do not default. Date and time!
- Never take shit! Do not be meek and never ever hesitate to ask a zillion questions that are related to their handling of situations, previous tenants, news on the area etc. ( Even if they mention that its non of your business - coz it is!)
Now, why am I writing this post?! I am shifting residence in South Africa from one area of Midrand to another. And we are dealing with a really weird/difficult house agent. I am sure to write about him soon, once things are done. Do look out! :)
